The bullet was an inch away from her heart. Tara was vaguely aware of the pain, Willow crying and begging her to hold on. She felt cold as the blood drained out of her, but still her heart beat, even if it was slow. There were sirens in the distance, sounding soft to her ears. But there were figures that entered the room, someone who pressed a cloth to the wound, causing her to cry out from the pain. Her voice felt distant and broken. The figures lifted her, placing her on a stretcher and wheeled her out of the house. Willow was still there, she was sure of that. Someone was holding her and it left her feeling a surge of love and strength. Who else could it be?
She blacked out half way to the hospital. Whatever was done to her, she had no awareness, only hearing voices far away. A distant murmur that didn't register with her ears. She was formless, drifting away from the pain as something happened to her shell.
The void disappeared slowly, draining away like water in a tub. She became aware of the pain again, sounds seeming louder than before. Her vision was blurry, but she felt Willow's presence in the room.
In all honesty, Willow had reacted on instinct. Something in her had sensed the commotion outside, even if she hadn't been paying attention to the voices. Despite not having used it in months, despite knowing that her promise to stop using magic is the most important thing to her right now because it's keeping Tara happy, instinct takes over as soon as the shot rings out. She doesn't know where it's coming from, what the true target is, but she lifts a hand anyway, her fingers stretching out as the glass breaks behind Tara, scattering shards through the bedroom. Her eyes change minutely as the barrier takes form. Not knowing where to point it is harder, but somehow, somehow, her instincts prevent the bullet wound from being fatal, the barrier stopping it just that tiny breadth away from Tara's heart.
Not that she knows right away. All she knows is that the most important person in the entire universe, in any universe, has just collapsed in her arms and Willow feels her control failing. "Tara? Tara!" She begs and pleads, her tears hot and fast on her cheeks as her magic slips out further, seeping into her girlfriend's body as she tries desperately to help. But then she remembers that she isn't supposed to be using it at all. How can she not, when Tara's very lifeforce is seeping away?
Willow fights it — herself, her promise, her guilt, the flood she can feel welling up inside her like a dam that's finally burst — but she can't stop trying to help. She holds herself in check as best she can, so she doesn't overwhelm Tara's body or lose control of herself, but the second the EMTs start trying to move Tara, panic sets in. They mention another girl outside; confusion blocks it out — "Who?" — before she's following, giving as much comfort and support as she can manage without completely losing control. It's not much, not in the grand scheme of things, but it's what she can do.
And then when she sees Buffy's prone form also being loaded in, she nearly buckles. One person is hard enough to keep a handle on, but trying to save two? She's torn, but luckily they let her go with Tara and Xander with Buffy. Tears still make their furious course down her cheeks as she holds Tara's hand in hers, never letting go until they force her to, until she has no one but Xander for company in the waiting room.
The look she turns on him is afraid. "I used magic," she whispers.
And without missing a beat, without asking her what she means or missing the duality of her words, he responds, "It's gonna be okay, Willow." He knows exactly what she's most afraid of: losing Tara... and betraying Tara's trust.
What feels like hours later — hours that she spends fighting the flood of her magic and worrying for her girlfriend and her best friend — the doctors finally come out and tell them that the two will be okay, allowing them back into the rooms if they want. Willow and Xander glance at each other and separate, Willow practically running down to Tara's room. She isn't awake yet, but they think she will be soon, and as long as Willow doesn't aggravate her injury or stress her out, she's allowed to stay. So she's there when Tara's eyes start to flutter, sitting in a chair next to the bed, her weight resting on her arms across her thighs, hands folded together. Willow hasn't been holding Tara's hand now, mostly because she knows there will be questions and hard truths to come to terms with and she's afraid of those answers. Of what Tara will think.
"What do you remember?" she asks, finally standing so she can offer herself as a grounding point should Tara need her. Whether Tara is strong enough to sense the magic welling inside her is another question... for later. They'll have to get to it all at some point and Willow isn't going to hide or lie. Not again.
Remember? That was a hard question. Her head aches so much and everything is a blur in her mind, dangling somewhere between reality and that afterworld she almost joined. She could remember strength and warmth, something tethering her to life. It was hard for her to pinpoint what it was as everything felt distant then and dreamlike.
Willow is here at least. A bit of her sanity before her, life and reality manifested in her form. If she could hold onto that, memories might come back. Slowly, her mind does gain control, feelings rushing back before images. "I saw blood on your shirt." That was the farthest back to whatever happened. "It's all pain after that and shadows."
If Willow did magic, Tara isn't aware of it. She only knows that she managed to survive somehow. Was it her own strength? It would be a relief, proof that she was powerful enough to survive something like this. She had always felt self-conscious of her magic, well aware she was inferior to Willow. But knowing that her magic was strong enough to keep her alive, that filled her with relief and confidence.
The state of that shirt had been the literal least of Willow's worries. Somewhere along the line she'd changed clothes. She honestly couldn't remember when or where. Had Xander gone back to the house at some point and grabbed them some things? Maybe. Probably. Whatever the case, this shirt didn't have blood on it, which was just as well. The logic was that Tara didn't need to see that when she woke up.
As Tara reached for her, Willow let her take her hand, giving a gentle squeeze as she entwined their fingers. Everything in her was hesitant and afraid, even down to the light way she inhaled and the uncertainty etched across her face. "No," she answered with a gentle shake of her head. "Xander told me what happened, while we were waiting. It was Warren. I guess he... wanted to get back at Buffy for stopping him. One of his shots went through the window and-" She swallowed hard, trying with everything she had not to give in to the tears threatening to spill from her eyes again. Tara needed her to be strong. "Tara, it hit you a-and I wasn't thinking at all when it happened. I just... knew I had to save you."
It was a start, leaving enough room for Tara to ask, to press her if needed, but even if she didn't, Willow knew she would have to make another hard admittance very soon. Maybe they should wait until Tara was more able to have this conversation, but Willow knew if she hid it now, she'd never be able to talk about it. Tara deserved better than to have her trust betrayed yet again. So no matter how hard this ended up being, Willow would go through with it.
Willow's hesitancy only comes across as worry to Tara. Her mind was still reeling from the shock, pain and near death experience. She wasn't processing what might have happened on Willow's end, save for what her emotions might have been. At the very least, she hadn't responded to Warren the way she had with Glory. That thought was at the back of her mind, acknowledged and adding to her relief. That wasn't something she wanted, no matter her state. The whole violence thing, the darkness, it didn't sit well with her, even if she participated in battles against vampires. There was a line and she did her best never to cross it.
Willow was trying to tell her something, but the words didn't take root. She wanted to help Tara, to keep her alive, but all that sounded like was fear and desperation. Magic didn't occur to her. Given that Willow abstained for so long, she was able to at least trust her not to indulge. So why would she assume that was what happened? She simply met Willow's eyes with sympathy, squeezing her hand. "I'm all right. I was stronger than the bullet."
The rules of nature had always been clear to her. If she was meant to die, she'd die, but she wanted every effort done reasonably to help her. Buffy's death was a sharp lesson, no matter the good it had done. Death that was naturally caused should be respected. Buffy had been right to stop Dawn from raising their mother. It was a painful decision for loved ones, but it respected the cycle of life. Clearly, it wasn't Tara's time.
"I just want to know if Buffy is okay. If Warren targeted her, the damage must have been more severe. Is Xander still here?"
After the whole addiction thing, after the break-up and get back together thing, Willow had done her absolute best not to be the same type of person she was. She didn't want the darkness to seep in again, didn't want to give Tara any reason to leave her again or be disappointed in her. No more vengeance like she'd done to Glory.
But Willow struggled with that disappointment and the knowledge that it would come once she admitted what she'd done to save Tara. She knew she needed to, that more lies and ignorance would only destroy what they were trying to rebuild, but it was so hard to break Tara's relief and trust in her. Even knowing Willow had saved Tara's life, she now was faced with the question of whether or not Tara would even thank her for it.
"She'll be okay. Xander's with her. We've been keeping an eye on both of you." It was the truth at least, just not all of it, and Willow swallowed hard before she tried again to force the words past her throat. "Tara, there's something else I have to tell you. I wasn't... I-I wasn't thinking. When it all happened. I just reacted to the sounds. I heard the gunshot a-and the window shattering behind you and I..." She nearly buckled right there; if not for the knowledge that she had to get this out, she probably would have. "They said the bullet stopped an inch from your heart. I think... that was my barrier. All I did was try to protect you with a spell.. and then a little restoration while they were carrying both of you out. I swear that's all I did."
And she wouldn't lie about any of it. Not after what they went through with the addiction. Her face twisted with worry, fear that Tara would reject her again nearly overwhelming her, but at least this time they could both be assured that she was being honest. Nothing withheld.
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songofmusebox2021-11-03 01:58 pm
Tara Lives - Willow AU
She blacked out half way to the hospital. Whatever was done to her, she had no awareness, only hearing voices far away. A distant murmur that didn't register with her ears. She was formless, drifting away from the pain as something happened to her shell.
The void disappeared slowly, draining away like water in a tub. She became aware of the pain again, sounds seeming louder than before. Her vision was blurry, but she felt Willow's presence in the room.
"What...what happened?"
no subject
Not that she knows right away. All she knows is that the most important person in the entire universe, in any universe, has just collapsed in her arms and Willow feels her control failing. "Tara? Tara!" She begs and pleads, her tears hot and fast on her cheeks as her magic slips out further, seeping into her girlfriend's body as she tries desperately to help. But then she remembers that she isn't supposed to be using it at all. How can she not, when Tara's very lifeforce is seeping away?
Willow fights it — herself, her promise, her guilt, the flood she can feel welling up inside her like a dam that's finally burst — but she can't stop trying to help. She holds herself in check as best she can, so she doesn't overwhelm Tara's body or lose control of herself, but the second the EMTs start trying to move Tara, panic sets in. They mention another girl outside; confusion blocks it out — "Who?" — before she's following, giving as much comfort and support as she can manage without completely losing control. It's not much, not in the grand scheme of things, but it's what she can do.
And then when she sees Buffy's prone form also being loaded in, she nearly buckles. One person is hard enough to keep a handle on, but trying to save two? She's torn, but luckily they let her go with Tara and Xander with Buffy. Tears still make their furious course down her cheeks as she holds Tara's hand in hers, never letting go until they force her to, until she has no one but Xander for company in the waiting room.
The look she turns on him is afraid. "I used magic," she whispers.
And without missing a beat, without asking her what she means or missing the duality of her words, he responds, "It's gonna be okay, Willow." He knows exactly what she's most afraid of: losing Tara... and betraying Tara's trust.
What feels like hours later — hours that she spends fighting the flood of her magic and worrying for her girlfriend and her best friend — the doctors finally come out and tell them that the two will be okay, allowing them back into the rooms if they want. Willow and Xander glance at each other and separate, Willow practically running down to Tara's room. She isn't awake yet, but they think she will be soon, and as long as Willow doesn't aggravate her injury or stress her out, she's allowed to stay. So she's there when Tara's eyes start to flutter, sitting in a chair next to the bed, her weight resting on her arms across her thighs, hands folded together. Willow hasn't been holding Tara's hand now, mostly because she knows there will be questions and hard truths to come to terms with and she's afraid of those answers. Of what Tara will think.
"What do you remember?" she asks, finally standing so she can offer herself as a grounding point should Tara need her. Whether Tara is strong enough to sense the magic welling inside her is another question... for later. They'll have to get to it all at some point and Willow isn't going to hide or lie. Not again.
no subject
Willow is here at least. A bit of her sanity before her, life and reality manifested in her form. If she could hold onto that, memories might come back. Slowly, her mind does gain control, feelings rushing back before images. "I saw blood on your shirt." That was the farthest back to whatever happened. "It's all pain after that and shadows."
If Willow did magic, Tara isn't aware of it. She only knows that she managed to survive somehow. Was it her own strength? It would be a relief, proof that she was powerful enough to survive something like this. She had always felt self-conscious of her magic, well aware she was inferior to Willow. But knowing that her magic was strong enough to keep her alive, that filled her with relief and confidence.
"Were you hurt?" She reached for Willow's hand.
no subject
As Tara reached for her, Willow let her take her hand, giving a gentle squeeze as she entwined their fingers. Everything in her was hesitant and afraid, even down to the light way she inhaled and the uncertainty etched across her face. "No," she answered with a gentle shake of her head. "Xander told me what happened, while we were waiting. It was Warren. I guess he... wanted to get back at Buffy for stopping him. One of his shots went through the window and-" She swallowed hard, trying with everything she had not to give in to the tears threatening to spill from her eyes again. Tara needed her to be strong. "Tara, it hit you a-and I wasn't thinking at all when it happened. I just... knew I had to save you."
It was a start, leaving enough room for Tara to ask, to press her if needed, but even if she didn't, Willow knew she would have to make another hard admittance very soon. Maybe they should wait until Tara was more able to have this conversation, but Willow knew if she hid it now, she'd never be able to talk about it. Tara deserved better than to have her trust betrayed yet again. So no matter how hard this ended up being, Willow would go through with it.
no subject
Willow was trying to tell her something, but the words didn't take root. She wanted to help Tara, to keep her alive, but all that sounded like was fear and desperation. Magic didn't occur to her. Given that Willow abstained for so long, she was able to at least trust her not to indulge. So why would she assume that was what happened? She simply met Willow's eyes with sympathy, squeezing her hand. "I'm all right. I was stronger than the bullet."
The rules of nature had always been clear to her. If she was meant to die, she'd die, but she wanted every effort done reasonably to help her. Buffy's death was a sharp lesson, no matter the good it had done. Death that was naturally caused should be respected. Buffy had been right to stop Dawn from raising their mother. It was a painful decision for loved ones, but it respected the cycle of life. Clearly, it wasn't Tara's time.
"I just want to know if Buffy is okay. If Warren targeted her, the damage must have been more severe. Is Xander still here?"
no subject
But Willow struggled with that disappointment and the knowledge that it would come once she admitted what she'd done to save Tara. She knew she needed to, that more lies and ignorance would only destroy what they were trying to rebuild, but it was so hard to break Tara's relief and trust in her. Even knowing Willow had saved Tara's life, she now was faced with the question of whether or not Tara would even thank her for it.
"She'll be okay. Xander's with her. We've been keeping an eye on both of you." It was the truth at least, just not all of it, and Willow swallowed hard before she tried again to force the words past her throat. "Tara, there's something else I have to tell you. I wasn't... I-I wasn't thinking. When it all happened. I just reacted to the sounds. I heard the gunshot a-and the window shattering behind you and I..." She nearly buckled right there; if not for the knowledge that she had to get this out, she probably would have. "They said the bullet stopped an inch from your heart. I think... that was my barrier. All I did was try to protect you with a spell.. and then a little restoration while they were carrying both of you out. I swear that's all I did."
And she wouldn't lie about any of it. Not after what they went through with the addiction. Her face twisted with worry, fear that Tara would reject her again nearly overwhelming her, but at least this time they could both be assured that she was being honest. Nothing withheld.