There was always some crises, some earth shattering apocalypse that needed to be averted or some monster that would wreak havoc. Tara had gotten used to such things, helping where she could. It was a little disappointing to be asked to stay behind, triggering a level of self consciousness in her that she thought was dormant. Willow was to go as they needed her magic, but two magic users didn't seem necessary. Besides, they insisted, someone should stay in the Magic Box just in case something happened. That "something happening" was never specified, but Tara suspected that was code for "keep the business going, make money." So what else could she do but agree? They had no time to waste, why bother arguing?
It was a busy night anyway. Several customers came in, most were older women looking for love spells or men seeking "enhancements" to a certain part of their anatomy. The things that Giles was always uncomfortable dealing with, but Tara found amusing. A few children were brought as well, eager for tarot card readings, one of the few skills Tara could say she was the best at. But eventually, there was a lull in the crowd and she was left to her own devices. The stock had been arranged and cleaned, but with little else to do, she might as well clean them again.
Halfway through, the bell to the door sang, indicating another customer. She set down her cloth and cleaner, quickly wiping her hands on her skirt. "Can I help you?"
He'd argue, or no, he'd whisper, that it's always the way of Buffy's inner circle. Willow and Xander would always be the first called on, as would Giles because he'd been her watcher for her entire stay in Sunnydale. It was always hard to breach that inner circle and worm your way in. He'd be willing to bet that in some ways Anya had the same self consciousness about that because she did on occasion get left behind too. But Anya didn't interest Angelus as he'd watched through the windows, or among the stacks on busy nights when no one would notice him slipping among the people as he'd watched and waited.
There's an innocence to Tara that shines like a bright beacon, pulling his attention in and securing it. Anyone who studied his history would know that, that he loves to take the good girls, the innocents, and twist them slowly. Most vampires didn't have patients, wanting the screams and the blood quickly, but Angelus, well, he'd always had a knack for patience. For the long game, twisting the mind, ensnaring them and making them his in some ways.
Even with Buffy tangling with his old blonde partner, if you dug deep down inside her mind he still lingered. Angel but also Angelus. A carefully twisted part of history she'd never be able to shake. Though in the end, he was bored with Buffy, tired of her in a way that left him easily tossing her out of his head.
Not that he'd doubt they'd lay his interest in Tara at Buffy's feet some how. That it wasn't the witch that interested him but that it was a way to get back at Buffy.
But the witch sang of power. He could smell it in the air, even before he'd walked into the shop. Stronger than she let on, and stronger than even she probably knew. But he could help her coax that strength from inside herself with time. His features are smooth as his head tilts toward her, a charming smile settling on his features at her approach. "I was just curious of the shop's contents, a lot of these shops pop up and it's all crystals this and tarot decks and books but the shop owners don't actually know any magic."
She supposed he was handsome, not that she was much of a judge on these things. He had a certain swagger that likely would turn the heads of any women that were...well, not her. Dressed in black, he was almost like an avenging angel of some sort. Either that or a vampire cosplayer. There were more of those than anyone cared to admit.
It pleased her that he seemed to prefer real magic to the cookie cutter Wiccan pretentious people followed. No, that wasn't right. She wouldn't judge, even if she couldn't shake the memory of the Wiccan group she was a part of in college. Simply finding someone who understood and knew, that always excited her.
"There's tarot, but it's mostly entertainment for the kids." At least on her end. She was still shy about that talent, but children were more receptive and forgiving. "The crystals here tend to have a purpose, but we largely supply herbs and talismans needed for spells. There's books as well, varying in what you need. Some are in Latin, if you can understand that. Those though are in the back."
She grinned, laughing a little. "You wouldn't want a novice turning someone into a toad or burning down the store."
To be fair to him, the Watcher Diaries do have that he has the face of an Angel. Even if you're not into men, it's sure to have a little sway about how you take his charm. Though it is true his wardrobe could do with a bit of an upgrade in color. Though the black helps with the blending into shadows, not that he'd actually come out and say that.
He wasn't above the judging, to be honest. Too many people didn't see the real power and magic in the world. Which lead to them creating sad groups where all they did was talk to each other. No power, no spells, no real magic. But also no understanding of magic either. It was sad in a lot of ways. Because people did have the potential if they tried and practiced and believed. "Nonne omnes medici magi Latine sciunt?" [ Shouldn't all magic practitioners known Latin? ] He can't help himself, and the amusement that lifts his lips is true as his head dips. "I find some of the older spells can be the best, or the best stepping stones so you can tweak them for what you need."
Tilting his head at that though, he chuckles. "Especially because they'd likely not know how to turn that someone back from the toad or know how to put the fire out." Which would be bad, if not at least amusing.
It's surprising he knows Latin. Given her exposure to magic from a young age, she's familiar enough with it to understand what he's saying. Though she doesn't trust her own ability to speak it back to him. Mispronouncing a word, it wouldn't reflect well on one of the store managers. "Impressive," she replied instead. "Then you probably will want advanced books." She wouldn't suggest anything dark. Those were safely locked away where no one could touch them without Giles's knowledge. That was fine by her. Nothing good came of dark magic.
"What sort of spells do you prefer to do? We have nature based magic, more spiritual and telepathic, some shape shifting, if you want?" All things Willow had mastered while Tara was following at a slower pace. She was stronger with Willow next to her, rather than on her own. It was frustrating. She had to admit there was a little jealousy in her at how fast Willow advanced and the level of her talent. It was small, but there in her heart.
"There are older spells here, but some are in Sumerian or Babylonian. They take time to translate, but it's worthwhile if you can do it." She fiddled with her shawl, a bit nervous in his presence. Why though? He seemed ordinary for the most part. She could sense a power in him, but it wasn't the light she was used to. It was almost hidden, concealed from her view. It made him an enigma. That power had a way of intimidating her, no matter her own skill.
"I'm an over achiever when it comes to things like that," he offers as a way to explanation for his knowledge of Latin. And he'll nod a little at her comment about the advanced books, because he was curious on what books they carried as a whole. What knowledge someone might have as part of the gang. He'd watched well enough to know how powerful Willow had become. Though having the dark magic locked away wouldn't surprise him either.
"Spiritual and telepathic tend to be my specialty. Though I have to say I haven't tried shape shifting as yet." His head tilts curiously, and he inches just a little so he can lean forward like it might be a secret that he's asking. Though his lips say he's teasing just a little, or at least the tease is more how secret it has to be in a shop where the two of them are alone. "What are you interested in?" Because he has an idea from watching her, but he'd like to hear it from her.
A soft hum leaves him as he takes that in. "I'm not as fluent in Babylonian or Sumerian, but if you have some to suggest I'd be happy to look into them." Is it an act or real, his interest in her. Well, he's always been interested in magic, so honestly, that part is a legitimate curiosity for him. Though he would be curious to see if there were more ways to draw her gently out of her shell, to aid her in magic and her learning. Teaching her will help to sink his fangs into her a little harder and more securely too.
When he leans closer to her, whatever she was about to say left Tara's mind. It's a bit uncomfortable, though he seems to have a seductive quality. Likely the sort Buffy would be drawn to, not that it was a bad thing. This wasn't something Tara was used to. Not the attention, not the possible flirtation. Save for Willow, not many paid her much attention in the past. Willow was her first and possibly last love.
She didn't really move when he came closer, simply assuming that he was being personable. If the need arose, she would politely correct him. For now, she would treat him as a special customer, given his skill and knowledge. It was a shame Giles wasn't here, he likely would really enjoy talking to someone that was advanced in magic.
"Shape shifting is a bit more difficult." She thought of Amy the rat. "Sometimes it's impossible to turn back, so I wouldn't recommend really trying it unless you have a solid spell to change back."
What was she interested in? Was that a come on? No, she didn't think so. It had to be curiosity simply expressed in a more intimate way. It was a little strange that he acted as though he knew her, but she brushed it off as her shyness around strangers.
"I prefer ritual based magic, but I have been studying nature spells and light magic." It was a slow process on her own. Willow could likely teach her, but this was something she wanted to achieve alone. "There's auras as well. Reading them, getting a feel for a person's energy and light."
She cleared her throat, a bit apprehensive to say more and look slightly foolish. "Nothing adventurous, I suppose."
He doesn't mean for the lean in to be uncomfortable for her, because this is a slow game for him. He has time, if he's careful, which means he doesn't want or need to push too hard with her. So when he sees even a flicker of her being uncomfortable, he'll lean back a little to give her some breathing room. And there's even an apologetic smile to her for overstepping a little, sheepish in an attempt to show he hadn't meant anything by it.
That maybe he was just over enthusiastic to talk to her about this too. Because even with as large of a magic community as there was, it was hard to find people to really discuss it with. So when you found one, well you had to hold onto them right? That's the energy he offers at least, that he was just happy to talk to someone about magic, to find that she wasn't just a shop pretending to know how and what to do to sell things.
"I'll definitely note that for shape shifting." His head tilts curiously after a moment though, "Sounds like that one you may know from experience." Because to be that specific about not trying it until you know how to spell yourself back, well, it means there's potentially a story there right?
Some men might use what she's interested in as a come on, but he really did mean magic wise. Because well, how else do you ask that question without it sounding intimate or like he was meaning something else? Some things just lend themselves to being a double entendre even by accident. Not that he wouldn't have used it if she were interested, but he also knows when to move back a little and give her space. "There's something to nature spells, feeling the earth and talking to it." Yes, it sounds like he's done some before, but well short of spells that need direct sunlight, he's dabbled in most just because he has the time and can. Though aura reading was interesting too, and he was curious to see if he could skirt that.
His head dips a little and he smiles. "Anything in magic is adventurous, because you're opening yourself up to the universe."
The recovery works and she begins to relax again, looking at him a little less warily. He simply comes across as being excited and maybe wishing to reach out to someone else who understands and feels similarly about magic as she does. As far as she can tell. So far, he's agreed with her a number of times. After some of the squabbles with Willow, she wanted to find someone who might understand her desire to abide by the rules of nature and utilize the power that comes from it. Beautiful, pure white magic. Misunderstood and overlooked, much like she had been as a girl.
"Not personal experience but second hand knowledge. My girlfriend, she knew a witch in high school that changed herself into a rat when she was in danger. They haven't found a way yet to change her back." Maybe she should try harder to help Amy. Sometimes she slipped Tara's mind, as often as she slipped Willow's. More research might be the key.
"Nature is pure, as energy can be. Magic that shifts and betrays nature doesn't feel natural to me. It's like a drug in your system, only causing damage and addiction. I like the feeling of sensing the earth grow and move beneath me. I think utilizing it could make you stronger and more powerful." She hoped at least, it's been awhile since she's felt genuinely powerful. It wasn't a contest, but there was always that human part of her that still felt jealousy and inadequacy.
"Magic can be that way, but there are other fun ways to tap into that energy and power. I know people knock tarot and palm readings, but it's a nice glimpse into who someone is."
The bullet was an inch away from her heart. Tara was vaguely aware of the pain, Willow crying and begging her to hold on. She felt cold as the blood drained out of her, but still her heart beat, even if it was slow. There were sirens in the distance, sounding soft to her ears. But there were figures that entered the room, someone who pressed a cloth to the wound, causing her to cry out from the pain. Her voice felt distant and broken. The figures lifted her, placing her on a stretcher and wheeled her out of the house. Willow was still there, she was sure of that. Someone was holding her and it left her feeling a surge of love and strength. Who else could it be?
She blacked out half way to the hospital. Whatever was done to her, she had no awareness, only hearing voices far away. A distant murmur that didn't register with her ears. She was formless, drifting away from the pain as something happened to her shell.
The void disappeared slowly, draining away like water in a tub. She became aware of the pain again, sounds seeming louder than before. Her vision was blurry, but she felt Willow's presence in the room.
In all honesty, Willow had reacted on instinct. Something in her had sensed the commotion outside, even if she hadn't been paying attention to the voices. Despite not having used it in months, despite knowing that her promise to stop using magic is the most important thing to her right now because it's keeping Tara happy, instinct takes over as soon as the shot rings out. She doesn't know where it's coming from, what the true target is, but she lifts a hand anyway, her fingers stretching out as the glass breaks behind Tara, scattering shards through the bedroom. Her eyes change minutely as the barrier takes form. Not knowing where to point it is harder, but somehow, somehow, her instincts prevent the bullet wound from being fatal, the barrier stopping it just that tiny breadth away from Tara's heart.
Not that she knows right away. All she knows is that the most important person in the entire universe, in any universe, has just collapsed in her arms and Willow feels her control failing. "Tara? Tara!" She begs and pleads, her tears hot and fast on her cheeks as her magic slips out further, seeping into her girlfriend's body as she tries desperately to help. But then she remembers that she isn't supposed to be using it at all. How can she not, when Tara's very lifeforce is seeping away?
Willow fights it — herself, her promise, her guilt, the flood she can feel welling up inside her like a dam that's finally burst — but she can't stop trying to help. She holds herself in check as best she can, so she doesn't overwhelm Tara's body or lose control of herself, but the second the EMTs start trying to move Tara, panic sets in. They mention another girl outside; confusion blocks it out — "Who?" — before she's following, giving as much comfort and support as she can manage without completely losing control. It's not much, not in the grand scheme of things, but it's what she can do.
And then when she sees Buffy's prone form also being loaded in, she nearly buckles. One person is hard enough to keep a handle on, but trying to save two? She's torn, but luckily they let her go with Tara and Xander with Buffy. Tears still make their furious course down her cheeks as she holds Tara's hand in hers, never letting go until they force her to, until she has no one but Xander for company in the waiting room.
The look she turns on him is afraid. "I used magic," she whispers.
And without missing a beat, without asking her what she means or missing the duality of her words, he responds, "It's gonna be okay, Willow." He knows exactly what she's most afraid of: losing Tara... and betraying Tara's trust.
What feels like hours later — hours that she spends fighting the flood of her magic and worrying for her girlfriend and her best friend — the doctors finally come out and tell them that the two will be okay, allowing them back into the rooms if they want. Willow and Xander glance at each other and separate, Willow practically running down to Tara's room. She isn't awake yet, but they think she will be soon, and as long as Willow doesn't aggravate her injury or stress her out, she's allowed to stay. So she's there when Tara's eyes start to flutter, sitting in a chair next to the bed, her weight resting on her arms across her thighs, hands folded together. Willow hasn't been holding Tara's hand now, mostly because she knows there will be questions and hard truths to come to terms with and she's afraid of those answers. Of what Tara will think.
"What do you remember?" she asks, finally standing so she can offer herself as a grounding point should Tara need her. Whether Tara is strong enough to sense the magic welling inside her is another question... for later. They'll have to get to it all at some point and Willow isn't going to hide or lie. Not again.
Remember? That was a hard question. Her head aches so much and everything is a blur in her mind, dangling somewhere between reality and that afterworld she almost joined. She could remember strength and warmth, something tethering her to life. It was hard for her to pinpoint what it was as everything felt distant then and dreamlike.
Willow is here at least. A bit of her sanity before her, life and reality manifested in her form. If she could hold onto that, memories might come back. Slowly, her mind does gain control, feelings rushing back before images. "I saw blood on your shirt." That was the farthest back to whatever happened. "It's all pain after that and shadows."
If Willow did magic, Tara isn't aware of it. She only knows that she managed to survive somehow. Was it her own strength? It would be a relief, proof that she was powerful enough to survive something like this. She had always felt self-conscious of her magic, well aware she was inferior to Willow. But knowing that her magic was strong enough to keep her alive, that filled her with relief and confidence.
The state of that shirt had been the literal least of Willow's worries. Somewhere along the line she'd changed clothes. She honestly couldn't remember when or where. Had Xander gone back to the house at some point and grabbed them some things? Maybe. Probably. Whatever the case, this shirt didn't have blood on it, which was just as well. The logic was that Tara didn't need to see that when she woke up.
As Tara reached for her, Willow let her take her hand, giving a gentle squeeze as she entwined their fingers. Everything in her was hesitant and afraid, even down to the light way she inhaled and the uncertainty etched across her face. "No," she answered with a gentle shake of her head. "Xander told me what happened, while we were waiting. It was Warren. I guess he... wanted to get back at Buffy for stopping him. One of his shots went through the window and-" She swallowed hard, trying with everything she had not to give in to the tears threatening to spill from her eyes again. Tara needed her to be strong. "Tara, it hit you a-and I wasn't thinking at all when it happened. I just... knew I had to save you."
It was a start, leaving enough room for Tara to ask, to press her if needed, but even if she didn't, Willow knew she would have to make another hard admittance very soon. Maybe they should wait until Tara was more able to have this conversation, but Willow knew if she hid it now, she'd never be able to talk about it. Tara deserved better than to have her trust betrayed yet again. So no matter how hard this ended up being, Willow would go through with it.
Willow's hesitancy only comes across as worry to Tara. Her mind was still reeling from the shock, pain and near death experience. She wasn't processing what might have happened on Willow's end, save for what her emotions might have been. At the very least, she hadn't responded to Warren the way she had with Glory. That thought was at the back of her mind, acknowledged and adding to her relief. That wasn't something she wanted, no matter her state. The whole violence thing, the darkness, it didn't sit well with her, even if she participated in battles against vampires. There was a line and she did her best never to cross it.
Willow was trying to tell her something, but the words didn't take root. She wanted to help Tara, to keep her alive, but all that sounded like was fear and desperation. Magic didn't occur to her. Given that Willow abstained for so long, she was able to at least trust her not to indulge. So why would she assume that was what happened? She simply met Willow's eyes with sympathy, squeezing her hand. "I'm all right. I was stronger than the bullet."
The rules of nature had always been clear to her. If she was meant to die, she'd die, but she wanted every effort done reasonably to help her. Buffy's death was a sharp lesson, no matter the good it had done. Death that was naturally caused should be respected. Buffy had been right to stop Dawn from raising their mother. It was a painful decision for loved ones, but it respected the cycle of life. Clearly, it wasn't Tara's time.
"I just want to know if Buffy is okay. If Warren targeted her, the damage must have been more severe. Is Xander still here?"
After the whole addiction thing, after the break-up and get back together thing, Willow had done her absolute best not to be the same type of person she was. She didn't want the darkness to seep in again, didn't want to give Tara any reason to leave her again or be disappointed in her. No more vengeance like she'd done to Glory.
But Willow struggled with that disappointment and the knowledge that it would come once she admitted what she'd done to save Tara. She knew she needed to, that more lies and ignorance would only destroy what they were trying to rebuild, but it was so hard to break Tara's relief and trust in her. Even knowing Willow had saved Tara's life, she now was faced with the question of whether or not Tara would even thank her for it.
"She'll be okay. Xander's with her. We've been keeping an eye on both of you." It was the truth at least, just not all of it, and Willow swallowed hard before she tried again to force the words past her throat. "Tara, there's something else I have to tell you. I wasn't... I-I wasn't thinking. When it all happened. I just reacted to the sounds. I heard the gunshot a-and the window shattering behind you and I..." She nearly buckled right there; if not for the knowledge that she had to get this out, she probably would have. "They said the bullet stopped an inch from your heart. I think... that was my barrier. All I did was try to protect you with a spell.. and then a little restoration while they were carrying both of you out. I swear that's all I did."
And she wouldn't lie about any of it. Not after what they went through with the addiction. Her face twisted with worry, fear that Tara would reject her again nearly overwhelming her, but at least this time they could both be assured that she was being honest. Nothing withheld.
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songofmusebox2021-11-03 01:58 pm
The Magic Box - Angelus
It was a busy night anyway. Several customers came in, most were older women looking for love spells or men seeking "enhancements" to a certain part of their anatomy. The things that Giles was always uncomfortable dealing with, but Tara found amusing. A few children were brought as well, eager for tarot card readings, one of the few skills Tara could say she was the best at. But eventually, there was a lull in the crowd and she was left to her own devices. The stock had been arranged and cleaned, but with little else to do, she might as well clean them again.
Halfway through, the bell to the door sang, indicating another customer. She set down her cloth and cleaner, quickly wiping her hands on her skirt. "Can I help you?"
no subject
There's an innocence to Tara that shines like a bright beacon, pulling his attention in and securing it. Anyone who studied his history would know that, that he loves to take the good girls, the innocents, and twist them slowly. Most vampires didn't have patients, wanting the screams and the blood quickly, but Angelus, well, he'd always had a knack for patience. For the long game, twisting the mind, ensnaring them and making them his in some ways.
Even with Buffy tangling with his old blonde partner, if you dug deep down inside her mind he still lingered. Angel but also Angelus. A carefully twisted part of history she'd never be able to shake. Though in the end, he was bored with Buffy, tired of her in a way that left him easily tossing her out of his head.
Not that he'd doubt they'd lay his interest in Tara at Buffy's feet some how. That it wasn't the witch that interested him but that it was a way to get back at Buffy.
But the witch sang of power. He could smell it in the air, even before he'd walked into the shop. Stronger than she let on, and stronger than even she probably knew. But he could help her coax that strength from inside herself with time. His features are smooth as his head tilts toward her, a charming smile settling on his features at her approach. "I was just curious of the shop's contents, a lot of these shops pop up and it's all crystals this and tarot decks and books but the shop owners don't actually know any magic."
no subject
It pleased her that he seemed to prefer real magic to the cookie cutter Wiccan pretentious people followed. No, that wasn't right. She wouldn't judge, even if she couldn't shake the memory of the Wiccan group she was a part of in college. Simply finding someone who understood and knew, that always excited her.
"There's tarot, but it's mostly entertainment for the kids." At least on her end. She was still shy about that talent, but children were more receptive and forgiving. "The crystals here tend to have a purpose, but we largely supply herbs and talismans needed for spells. There's books as well, varying in what you need. Some are in Latin, if you can understand that. Those though are in the back."
She grinned, laughing a little. "You wouldn't want a novice turning someone into a toad or burning down the store."
no subject
He wasn't above the judging, to be honest. Too many people didn't see the real power and magic in the world. Which lead to them creating sad groups where all they did was talk to each other. No power, no spells, no real magic. But also no understanding of magic either. It was sad in a lot of ways. Because people did have the potential if they tried and practiced and believed. "Nonne omnes medici magi Latine sciunt?" [ Shouldn't all magic practitioners known Latin? ] He can't help himself, and the amusement that lifts his lips is true as his head dips. "I find some of the older spells can be the best, or the best stepping stones so you can tweak them for what you need."
Tilting his head at that though, he chuckles. "Especially because they'd likely not know how to turn that someone back from the toad or know how to put the fire out." Which would be bad, if not at least amusing.
no subject
"What sort of spells do you prefer to do? We have nature based magic, more spiritual and telepathic, some shape shifting, if you want?" All things Willow had mastered while Tara was following at a slower pace. She was stronger with Willow next to her, rather than on her own. It was frustrating. She had to admit there was a little jealousy in her at how fast Willow advanced and the level of her talent. It was small, but there in her heart.
"There are older spells here, but some are in Sumerian or Babylonian. They take time to translate, but it's worthwhile if you can do it." She fiddled with her shawl, a bit nervous in his presence. Why though? He seemed ordinary for the most part. She could sense a power in him, but it wasn't the light she was used to. It was almost hidden, concealed from her view. It made him an enigma. That power had a way of intimidating her, no matter her own skill.
no subject
"Spiritual and telepathic tend to be my specialty. Though I have to say I haven't tried shape shifting as yet." His head tilts curiously, and he inches just a little so he can lean forward like it might be a secret that he's asking. Though his lips say he's teasing just a little, or at least the tease is more how secret it has to be in a shop where the two of them are alone. "What are you interested in?" Because he has an idea from watching her, but he'd like to hear it from her.
A soft hum leaves him as he takes that in. "I'm not as fluent in Babylonian or Sumerian, but if you have some to suggest I'd be happy to look into them." Is it an act or real, his interest in her. Well, he's always been interested in magic, so honestly, that part is a legitimate curiosity for him. Though he would be curious to see if there were more ways to draw her gently out of her shell, to aid her in magic and her learning. Teaching her will help to sink his fangs into her a little harder and more securely too.
no subject
She didn't really move when he came closer, simply assuming that he was being personable. If the need arose, she would politely correct him. For now, she would treat him as a special customer, given his skill and knowledge. It was a shame Giles wasn't here, he likely would really enjoy talking to someone that was advanced in magic.
"Shape shifting is a bit more difficult." She thought of Amy the rat. "Sometimes it's impossible to turn back, so I wouldn't recommend really trying it unless you have a solid spell to change back."
What was she interested in? Was that a come on? No, she didn't think so. It had to be curiosity simply expressed in a more intimate way. It was a little strange that he acted as though he knew her, but she brushed it off as her shyness around strangers.
"I prefer ritual based magic, but I have been studying nature spells and light magic." It was a slow process on her own. Willow could likely teach her, but this was something she wanted to achieve alone. "There's auras as well. Reading them, getting a feel for a person's energy and light."
She cleared her throat, a bit apprehensive to say more and look slightly foolish. "Nothing adventurous, I suppose."
no subject
That maybe he was just over enthusiastic to talk to her about this too. Because even with as large of a magic community as there was, it was hard to find people to really discuss it with. So when you found one, well you had to hold onto them right? That's the energy he offers at least, that he was just happy to talk to someone about magic, to find that she wasn't just a shop pretending to know how and what to do to sell things.
"I'll definitely note that for shape shifting." His head tilts curiously after a moment though, "Sounds like that one you may know from experience." Because to be that specific about not trying it until you know how to spell yourself back, well, it means there's potentially a story there right?
Some men might use what she's interested in as a come on, but he really did mean magic wise. Because well, how else do you ask that question without it sounding intimate or like he was meaning something else? Some things just lend themselves to being a double entendre even by accident. Not that he wouldn't have used it if she were interested, but he also knows when to move back a little and give her space. "There's something to nature spells, feeling the earth and talking to it." Yes, it sounds like he's done some before, but well short of spells that need direct sunlight, he's dabbled in most just because he has the time and can. Though aura reading was interesting too, and he was curious to see if he could skirt that.
His head dips a little and he smiles. "Anything in magic is adventurous, because you're opening yourself up to the universe."
no subject
"Not personal experience but second hand knowledge. My girlfriend, she knew a witch in high school that changed herself into a rat when she was in danger. They haven't found a way yet to change her back." Maybe she should try harder to help Amy. Sometimes she slipped Tara's mind, as often as she slipped Willow's. More research might be the key.
"Nature is pure, as energy can be. Magic that shifts and betrays nature doesn't feel natural to me. It's like a drug in your system, only causing damage and addiction. I like the feeling of sensing the earth grow and move beneath me. I think utilizing it could make you stronger and more powerful." She hoped at least, it's been awhile since she's felt genuinely powerful. It wasn't a contest, but there was always that human part of her that still felt jealousy and inadequacy.
"Magic can be that way, but there are other fun ways to tap into that energy and power. I know people knock tarot and palm readings, but it's a nice glimpse into who someone is."
Tara Lives - Willow AU
She blacked out half way to the hospital. Whatever was done to her, she had no awareness, only hearing voices far away. A distant murmur that didn't register with her ears. She was formless, drifting away from the pain as something happened to her shell.
The void disappeared slowly, draining away like water in a tub. She became aware of the pain again, sounds seeming louder than before. Her vision was blurry, but she felt Willow's presence in the room.
"What...what happened?"
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Not that she knows right away. All she knows is that the most important person in the entire universe, in any universe, has just collapsed in her arms and Willow feels her control failing. "Tara? Tara!" She begs and pleads, her tears hot and fast on her cheeks as her magic slips out further, seeping into her girlfriend's body as she tries desperately to help. But then she remembers that she isn't supposed to be using it at all. How can she not, when Tara's very lifeforce is seeping away?
Willow fights it — herself, her promise, her guilt, the flood she can feel welling up inside her like a dam that's finally burst — but she can't stop trying to help. She holds herself in check as best she can, so she doesn't overwhelm Tara's body or lose control of herself, but the second the EMTs start trying to move Tara, panic sets in. They mention another girl outside; confusion blocks it out — "Who?" — before she's following, giving as much comfort and support as she can manage without completely losing control. It's not much, not in the grand scheme of things, but it's what she can do.
And then when she sees Buffy's prone form also being loaded in, she nearly buckles. One person is hard enough to keep a handle on, but trying to save two? She's torn, but luckily they let her go with Tara and Xander with Buffy. Tears still make their furious course down her cheeks as she holds Tara's hand in hers, never letting go until they force her to, until she has no one but Xander for company in the waiting room.
The look she turns on him is afraid. "I used magic," she whispers.
And without missing a beat, without asking her what she means or missing the duality of her words, he responds, "It's gonna be okay, Willow." He knows exactly what she's most afraid of: losing Tara... and betraying Tara's trust.
What feels like hours later — hours that she spends fighting the flood of her magic and worrying for her girlfriend and her best friend — the doctors finally come out and tell them that the two will be okay, allowing them back into the rooms if they want. Willow and Xander glance at each other and separate, Willow practically running down to Tara's room. She isn't awake yet, but they think she will be soon, and as long as Willow doesn't aggravate her injury or stress her out, she's allowed to stay. So she's there when Tara's eyes start to flutter, sitting in a chair next to the bed, her weight resting on her arms across her thighs, hands folded together. Willow hasn't been holding Tara's hand now, mostly because she knows there will be questions and hard truths to come to terms with and she's afraid of those answers. Of what Tara will think.
"What do you remember?" she asks, finally standing so she can offer herself as a grounding point should Tara need her. Whether Tara is strong enough to sense the magic welling inside her is another question... for later. They'll have to get to it all at some point and Willow isn't going to hide or lie. Not again.
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Willow is here at least. A bit of her sanity before her, life and reality manifested in her form. If she could hold onto that, memories might come back. Slowly, her mind does gain control, feelings rushing back before images. "I saw blood on your shirt." That was the farthest back to whatever happened. "It's all pain after that and shadows."
If Willow did magic, Tara isn't aware of it. She only knows that she managed to survive somehow. Was it her own strength? It would be a relief, proof that she was powerful enough to survive something like this. She had always felt self-conscious of her magic, well aware she was inferior to Willow. But knowing that her magic was strong enough to keep her alive, that filled her with relief and confidence.
"Were you hurt?" She reached for Willow's hand.
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As Tara reached for her, Willow let her take her hand, giving a gentle squeeze as she entwined their fingers. Everything in her was hesitant and afraid, even down to the light way she inhaled and the uncertainty etched across her face. "No," she answered with a gentle shake of her head. "Xander told me what happened, while we were waiting. It was Warren. I guess he... wanted to get back at Buffy for stopping him. One of his shots went through the window and-" She swallowed hard, trying with everything she had not to give in to the tears threatening to spill from her eyes again. Tara needed her to be strong. "Tara, it hit you a-and I wasn't thinking at all when it happened. I just... knew I had to save you."
It was a start, leaving enough room for Tara to ask, to press her if needed, but even if she didn't, Willow knew she would have to make another hard admittance very soon. Maybe they should wait until Tara was more able to have this conversation, but Willow knew if she hid it now, she'd never be able to talk about it. Tara deserved better than to have her trust betrayed yet again. So no matter how hard this ended up being, Willow would go through with it.
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Willow was trying to tell her something, but the words didn't take root. She wanted to help Tara, to keep her alive, but all that sounded like was fear and desperation. Magic didn't occur to her. Given that Willow abstained for so long, she was able to at least trust her not to indulge. So why would she assume that was what happened? She simply met Willow's eyes with sympathy, squeezing her hand. "I'm all right. I was stronger than the bullet."
The rules of nature had always been clear to her. If she was meant to die, she'd die, but she wanted every effort done reasonably to help her. Buffy's death was a sharp lesson, no matter the good it had done. Death that was naturally caused should be respected. Buffy had been right to stop Dawn from raising their mother. It was a painful decision for loved ones, but it respected the cycle of life. Clearly, it wasn't Tara's time.
"I just want to know if Buffy is okay. If Warren targeted her, the damage must have been more severe. Is Xander still here?"
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But Willow struggled with that disappointment and the knowledge that it would come once she admitted what she'd done to save Tara. She knew she needed to, that more lies and ignorance would only destroy what they were trying to rebuild, but it was so hard to break Tara's relief and trust in her. Even knowing Willow had saved Tara's life, she now was faced with the question of whether or not Tara would even thank her for it.
"She'll be okay. Xander's with her. We've been keeping an eye on both of you." It was the truth at least, just not all of it, and Willow swallowed hard before she tried again to force the words past her throat. "Tara, there's something else I have to tell you. I wasn't... I-I wasn't thinking. When it all happened. I just reacted to the sounds. I heard the gunshot a-and the window shattering behind you and I..." She nearly buckled right there; if not for the knowledge that she had to get this out, she probably would have. "They said the bullet stopped an inch from your heart. I think... that was my barrier. All I did was try to protect you with a spell.. and then a little restoration while they were carrying both of you out. I swear that's all I did."
And she wouldn't lie about any of it. Not after what they went through with the addiction. Her face twisted with worry, fear that Tara would reject her again nearly overwhelming her, but at least this time they could both be assured that she was being honest. Nothing withheld.