In all honesty, Willow had reacted on instinct. Something in her had sensed the commotion outside, even if she hadn't been paying attention to the voices. Despite not having used it in months, despite knowing that her promise to stop using magic is the most important thing to her right now because it's keeping Tara happy, instinct takes over as soon as the shot rings out. She doesn't know where it's coming from, what the true target is, but she lifts a hand anyway, her fingers stretching out as the glass breaks behind Tara, scattering shards through the bedroom. Her eyes change minutely as the barrier takes form. Not knowing where to point it is harder, but somehow, somehow, her instincts prevent the bullet wound from being fatal, the barrier stopping it just that tiny breadth away from Tara's heart.
Not that she knows right away. All she knows is that the most important person in the entire universe, in any universe, has just collapsed in her arms and Willow feels her control failing. "Tara? Tara!" She begs and pleads, her tears hot and fast on her cheeks as her magic slips out further, seeping into her girlfriend's body as she tries desperately to help. But then she remembers that she isn't supposed to be using it at all. How can she not, when Tara's very lifeforce is seeping away?
Willow fights it — herself, her promise, her guilt, the flood she can feel welling up inside her like a dam that's finally burst — but she can't stop trying to help. She holds herself in check as best she can, so she doesn't overwhelm Tara's body or lose control of herself, but the second the EMTs start trying to move Tara, panic sets in. They mention another girl outside; confusion blocks it out — "Who?" — before she's following, giving as much comfort and support as she can manage without completely losing control. It's not much, not in the grand scheme of things, but it's what she can do.
And then when she sees Buffy's prone form also being loaded in, she nearly buckles. One person is hard enough to keep a handle on, but trying to save two? She's torn, but luckily they let her go with Tara and Xander with Buffy. Tears still make their furious course down her cheeks as she holds Tara's hand in hers, never letting go until they force her to, until she has no one but Xander for company in the waiting room.
The look she turns on him is afraid. "I used magic," she whispers.
And without missing a beat, without asking her what she means or missing the duality of her words, he responds, "It's gonna be okay, Willow." He knows exactly what she's most afraid of: losing Tara... and betraying Tara's trust.
What feels like hours later — hours that she spends fighting the flood of her magic and worrying for her girlfriend and her best friend — the doctors finally come out and tell them that the two will be okay, allowing them back into the rooms if they want. Willow and Xander glance at each other and separate, Willow practically running down to Tara's room. She isn't awake yet, but they think she will be soon, and as long as Willow doesn't aggravate her injury or stress her out, she's allowed to stay. So she's there when Tara's eyes start to flutter, sitting in a chair next to the bed, her weight resting on her arms across her thighs, hands folded together. Willow hasn't been holding Tara's hand now, mostly because she knows there will be questions and hard truths to come to terms with and she's afraid of those answers. Of what Tara will think.
"What do you remember?" she asks, finally standing so she can offer herself as a grounding point should Tara need her. Whether Tara is strong enough to sense the magic welling inside her is another question... for later. They'll have to get to it all at some point and Willow isn't going to hide or lie. Not again.
no subject
Not that she knows right away. All she knows is that the most important person in the entire universe, in any universe, has just collapsed in her arms and Willow feels her control failing. "Tara? Tara!" She begs and pleads, her tears hot and fast on her cheeks as her magic slips out further, seeping into her girlfriend's body as she tries desperately to help. But then she remembers that she isn't supposed to be using it at all. How can she not, when Tara's very lifeforce is seeping away?
Willow fights it — herself, her promise, her guilt, the flood she can feel welling up inside her like a dam that's finally burst — but she can't stop trying to help. She holds herself in check as best she can, so she doesn't overwhelm Tara's body or lose control of herself, but the second the EMTs start trying to move Tara, panic sets in. They mention another girl outside; confusion blocks it out — "Who?" — before she's following, giving as much comfort and support as she can manage without completely losing control. It's not much, not in the grand scheme of things, but it's what she can do.
And then when she sees Buffy's prone form also being loaded in, she nearly buckles. One person is hard enough to keep a handle on, but trying to save two? She's torn, but luckily they let her go with Tara and Xander with Buffy. Tears still make their furious course down her cheeks as she holds Tara's hand in hers, never letting go until they force her to, until she has no one but Xander for company in the waiting room.
The look she turns on him is afraid. "I used magic," she whispers.
And without missing a beat, without asking her what she means or missing the duality of her words, he responds, "It's gonna be okay, Willow." He knows exactly what she's most afraid of: losing Tara... and betraying Tara's trust.
What feels like hours later — hours that she spends fighting the flood of her magic and worrying for her girlfriend and her best friend — the doctors finally come out and tell them that the two will be okay, allowing them back into the rooms if they want. Willow and Xander glance at each other and separate, Willow practically running down to Tara's room. She isn't awake yet, but they think she will be soon, and as long as Willow doesn't aggravate her injury or stress her out, she's allowed to stay. So she's there when Tara's eyes start to flutter, sitting in a chair next to the bed, her weight resting on her arms across her thighs, hands folded together. Willow hasn't been holding Tara's hand now, mostly because she knows there will be questions and hard truths to come to terms with and she's afraid of those answers. Of what Tara will think.
"What do you remember?" she asks, finally standing so she can offer herself as a grounding point should Tara need her. Whether Tara is strong enough to sense the magic welling inside her is another question... for later. They'll have to get to it all at some point and Willow isn't going to hide or lie. Not again.